Express Spliffs & BALLCO to supply HGH to Slum
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Express Spliffs has entered into a partnership with BALLCO, which is famous for reportedly giving HGH to baseball players, to provide the SLUM Jock Strap Department with human-growth hormones. Express Spliffs is a company that mails drugs to its customers. When the SLUM receives the HGH, the trainers there will carefully supervise athletes on how to take the supplement. SLUM expects that this will increase the performance of its athletes by 40%.
“We’ve given out pamphlets that have descriptions and cool pictures that will show players how to take the stuff,” said head SLUM trainer Berry Bonds. HGH will be implemented starting over the summer and SLUM has a three year contact with BALLCO and Express Strips.
“This represents a new generation in SLUM Athletics,” said SLUM Chancellor Tomas Jorge. “With this new era we will dominate all of the sporting events and bring home championship after championship.”
Bonds waved away the possible side effects of HGH saying that he was willing to take the chances that something bad might happen if it meant that there was an increased chance of winning. Even the women’s teams’ coaches seemed ok with the decision.
Jock Strap Department’s media relations personnel also said that HGH is being used by other universities too though they may not admit it. “They may not admit it but when you look at their athletes it is very obvious,” one person said.
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